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Princess and the Popstar/Transcript
This is an episode transcript for Princess and the Popstar. Transcript (Open to Larry humming as he paints the countertop tile green. He stands on the left of a picket fence dividing the counter. Bob enters on the other side smiling until he processes what he sees.) Bob: Aaaghh!! What did you do?! Larry: Don't worry, Bob. This paint is specially formulated for tile. Bob: Actually, now I'm even more worried. Why did you paint the tile green?? Larry: Well, two reasons. Reason number one--green is my favorite color! Reason number two-- the tile is always greener on the other side of the fence. (pause) Bob: ...That's grass. Larry: Work with me, Bob. Grass don't grow in the kitchen. Bob: Grass doesn't grow in the kitchen. Larry: Yup! And that's why I used paint! Bob: Paint? Grass?? Astroturf??? I'm confused!! Larry: Well...I was just talkin' with Madison before the show- Bob: Madison? Larry: Yeah; (throws his paintbrush aside, hops over the fence) over here. (Larry leaves green "hop-prints" on the counter.) Qwerty: Madison Scott from Ogallala, Nebraska. (Qwerty brings up a video of Madison) Madison: Dear Bob and Larry, my friend Taylor has everything. It isn't fair. Why can't I have what she has? Your friend, Madison. (Video ends) Larry: That's a good question! Bob: It sure is. We have a-- Larry: (hops to the fence) Okay, Madison. Imagine you're Bob, and I'm your friend Taylor. (hops over the fence, Bob's on the other side) You're over there on the yellow tile but you’re thinkin’, “Wow! That green tile is awesome! I wanna go over there like Larry who’s really Taylor,” but, you can’t because there’s a fence. But no gate. And because your mom bought you new white pants and you might mess ‘em up. Y’see the problem, Madison? Bob: (bewildered) What??? Larry: Shh! I’m using an anomaly. She’ll figure it out. (pause) Bob: That’s an analogy, and nobody’s gonna figure that out. Larry: Really? Bob: When you say the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, you’re saying you’d rather have something different from what you already have. Larry: ...That’s what I said. (pause) Bob: (sighs) I’ll tell ya what. I have the perfect story for Madison that might just answer her question. While she watches, I’ll help you mop up the countertop before the paint dries. Larry: (sheepish)...Did I mention it was formulated for instant drying? Bob: ...Ohh man. Roll film! (Fade to black, then open to the logo over a sparkly pink background. The logo fades to Vanna Banana singing.) Vanna: My dinner’s one huge chocolate bar! Diamonds and jet planes--I’m a star! Yeah I’m livin’ the sweet life-- but that’s not everything! No, no...From Tulsa to Toledo, I’m a popstar hero. I can get whatever I ask for, but it never, brings me what I really want; it’s not everything!!! (Rockin’ Robin Gourd appears on a TV backdrop that reads “VEGGIE BEAT”) Rockin’ Robin: You’re watching Veggie Beat Television, and that was Vanna Banana’s newest hit, “That’s Not Everything.” Only Vanna Banana could have everything she wants, and still want more. Oh snap! (Cut to Princess Poppyseed Carrot watching the TV.) Rockin’ Robin: Are you one of the special peeps who’ll catch her sold-out show live this weekend, at the Onion Flats Arena? I’m Rockin’ Robin and I’ll see you there! Princess: (sadly) You won’t see me there. Papaya: (on the phone) And then I said “No way,” and she said “Uh huh,” and I said “Uh uh,” and she said, “No way!” Princess: Papaya! (Paprika and Parsley are seen quarreling behind the couch that Princess is sitting on.) Paprika: You ran into my squeezy fuzzy bunny with your dream Corvette! Parsley: That’s ‘cause she’s filled with candy corn and rainbows! Princess: Paprika, Parsley, can’t hear my show! Paprika: This is our house too! Parsley: Yeah! (They duck down behind the couch.) Princess: Forget it. The only thing around here that’s really mine is… (lifts up a couple of pillows) where’s my radio? PEPPER!!!!!!! (Her yell echoes throughout the whole house and outside. Pepper hangs down from a tree with a space helmet and Princess’s radio.) Pepper: No sign of life on Planet Poppyseed. Wait… I sense a lifeform! Hopefully it’s friendly. (Princess goes out onto the farm, and we see Dad Poppyseed the Cucumber working in the background.) Princess: Pepper, you took my radio again! Pepper: Aahh! Mutant alien! Princess: Pepper! Pepper: Come up and play with me, Princess! Dad: What’s goin’ on? Princess: Dad, he won’t come down, and give me my radio! Dad: Pepper… (Pepper slides down the tree) Pepper: Just pretending… (hands Princess the radio) Princess: Thanks. Dad: You need to go easy on your little brother. Princess: But he’s always touching my stuff! Dad: He just wants to play with you. Princess: Vanna Banana doesn’t have to put up with a grabby little brother, or a house crammed with people or- Dad: I’m sure Vanna Banana has plenty of troubles of her own. Princess: (dreamy) Her life’s perfect! How awesome would it be to hear yourself singing on the radio, be adored by millions of fans, wear fancy clothes, and be in a cool music video? Dad: (working on a pogo stick) God made Vanna to be Vanna, and He made you to be you! He put your life together just like He wants it to be, Princess. Princess: Well, I wish He put it together more like Vanna Banana’s…What are you doing to my pogo stick? Dad: Turning it into a Robo-Pogo™! Now you’ll really be able to get the fruit down from those high branches. (hops on the pogo stick) Here goes nothin’! (Dad pushes a red button between the handlebars, and the Robo-Pogo shoots up rapidly in the air, leaving him to faceplant on the ground. It hops over the house as he gets up.) Princess: Yeah, that hops a lot higher. Dad: Loose in the wild, as nature intended. Princess: (putting on her earbuds) What are we planting today? Dad: Apples! Could you get the milk and eggs? Princess: Ok, Dad. (She enters the barn and gets to work as “Where I Belong” starts.) Princess: What can I do to get away from my annoying brother? My own space where I’m not always feeling smushed and smothered...Where can I go to find where I belong? (the chickens cluck rhythmically) Princess: My life’s so crazy, it’s more difficult than many others. If it were diff’rent I’d be free without so many bothers. Where can I go to find where I belong? (cow moos, she hops outside) Princess: I’ll play my music, sing my songs, one day I’ll be discovered! The crowds will cheer, I’ll live the life for me that’s like no other. That’s what I’ll do to find where I...belong! (picks a pie off a nearby plant, smells it) Mmmm… (Cut to an upscale hotel, where Vanna Banana sits at her vanity in her huge, lavish, pink and white room. Her mother, Mrs. Banana Blueberry, comes to her door.) Mrs. Banana: Thirty minutes until we leave for the music video shoot, sweetheart. Vanna: (sad) Okay… Mrs. Banana: Why aren’t you dressed yet? (Vanna sobs, a tear rolling down her cheek) Mrs. Banana: (concerned) What on earth is the matter?? Vanna: (tearful) This! (They both look at her TV.) Mrs. Banana: “Little Peas on the Prairie?” Vanna: The little girl...she plays with her sisters...and there are hugs...and skipping through a meadow…(sniffles, falls to pieces) AND A HORRRRSIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! (on the TV the family prays before a meal) Pa: Thank you, Lord, for this food. Family: A-men. (Mrs. Banana turns off the TV as Vanna sobs) Mrs. Banana: (stern) Enough is enough, Vanna. You’ve got to pull yourself together and get dressed for the video shoot! ENTOURAGE!! (Two pea girls appear) Entourage: (cheerful) Good morning! Entourage #1: Let’s make you beautiful! (puts a jacket around Vanna, purrs) Entourage #2: (brushing Vanna’s hair) Brush brush brush brush brush! Vanna: But...horsie... Mrs. Banana: Your life is amazing! Why would you want the one in that little box? They don’t have anything you have! Vanna: But they aren’t lonely. Mrs. Banana: How can you be lonely? At your last birthday party, there were two thousand fans! (Vanna sighs and looks down sadly.) Mrs. Banana: (affectionate) I know how to cheer you up. ENTOURAGE!!! (The entourage reenters) Entourage #2: Selection of foreign cheeses? Entourage #1: Diamond-studded cookie bouquet? Entourage #2: Need help flossing? Entourage #1: Wireless scalp massager? (She puts a dome-shaped machine on Vanna’s head, which vibrates with a loud buzz.) Vanna: No!! (dips it off her head) That’s not what I want…(depressed) I do music videos instead of playing...I rehearse instead of making friends...What kind of a life is that? Mrs. Banana: (not catching on) A special superstar life! (heads for the door) Vanna: But-! Mrs. Banana: We leave in twenty minutes. (leaves) (Now all by herself again in her room, Vanna sighs shakily.) Vanna: What’s so great about being special if it means I’m always alone…? (Cut back to the Poppyseed house; Princess sits on her top bunk with her guitar, listening to Vanna Banana’s “That’s Not Everything.” Rockin’ Robin: Hoobie-scoobie, that girl can siiiiiing! And if you wanna meet her, now is your chance to win! Princess: (gasp) WHAT?!! Rockin’ Robin: Be the 99th caller and sing me one of Vanna’s songs to win a ticket and backstage pass to this weekend’s concert! Princess: MOOOOOM!!!! (Princess gets down from her bunk and quickly hops from the room) Paprika: You took the head off my pony doll! Parsley: It wouldn’t fit in my lunchbox! Princess: (quickly hopping past them) OUT OF THE WAY!!! (hops on some jacks) Ow ow oww!! (Pepper builds a pillow fort right in her path) Princess: Pepper!! (She hops over it onto a ball, which launches her in the air.) Pepper: Incoming!! Princess: AAAAH!! (Princess slides on the dining room table, knocking off everyone’s pancakes. She stands up and hops off the table, only to be accidentally hit in the face with the fridge door by her mom. She hops down and gets hit by the larger door.) Mom: Oh! There you are, Princess. Princess: (recovers) Can’t talk! I gotta win a ticket!! (Mom watches as Princess dials. Rockin’ Robin picks up.) Rockin’ Robin: *idfk*, you’re our 99th caller! What’s your name? Princess: (elated) Wha..?? Me?? I-I-I’m Princess! Princess Poppyseed!! Rockin’ Robin: Alright, Popsy! Sing me one of Vanna Banana’s songs to win! (Princess sets down the phone and strums her guitar as Mom and Pepper watch.) Princess: Move my feet to the beat down in my soul...singin’ for the people that’s how I roll...Who’d have guessed that a regular girl...could get to sing for the whole wide world… (Paprika, Parsley, and Dad enter to watch) Dad: Who turned on the radio? Mom: That’s Princess! Dad: (surprised/happy) Really?? Princess: My song comes on, they play it loud-- “Vanna, Vanna” shouts the crowd, I’m a radio sweetheart...a radio sweetheart… (Pepper dances along as Princess sings, but he runs into the phone cord, tripping over it and making the phone fall and disconnect.) Princess: Oh no, oh no!! (picks up the phone, it disconnected, gasp!!!) (Princess hops over and turns on the radio.) Rockin’ Robin: --seem to have a bad connection. Whoopity-doggies! Oh, well. On to caller 100! (Mom turns off the radio as Princess fumes.) Princess: ...How could you? Pepper: (innocent, apologetic) I’m so sorry, Princess… Princess: (growing anger) That ticket was important to me! Pepper: It was an accident… Princess: I was going to meet. Vanna. Banana. (Dad, Paprika and Pepper step out. Pepper hops away sniffling and hides under the table as Princess stands indignantly.) Mom: Princess, he was only dancing to your song, he tripped. Princess: (defeated/sad) I-I just...really wanted to win… Mom: I need to go to the park to sell some pies, why don’t you come? Princess: ...Okay. (Princess and her mom start hopping away but stop just in front of the table) Mom: (quiet) Princess, invite Pepper. Princess: (whisper-shouts) What?! Mom: (bends down and whispers to Princess) Can’t you see how bad he feels? (Pepper sighs.) Princess: But-! Mom: (firmer) Invite. Pepper. (Relenting, Princess hops over to the table but still doesn’t look at Pepper.) Princess: (sighh)...Pepper? You wanna come to the park? Pepper: (perks up) YAYYY-- (He stands and bonks his head on the table.) Pepper: ...medic… (He lies down as Princess rolls her eyes. Meanwhile, back in Vanna’s room, she’s just finished writing a piece of sheet music titled “Alone.” She sets her pencil down and looks at her reflection as she begins to sing.) Vanna: I could stand...And face this crowd alone--but to me, they only sound like thunder. Look at me...There are millions here who cheer but I don’t really know, one single other...The world knows my name, so why do I feel unknown? With all of these crowds--I should not be alone... (Vanna hides the sheet music in her top drawer and flops on her bed, hearing people outside.) Vanna: Is there something somewhere...A special someplace out there…? Where I’m not on my own...On my own… (She looks out the window at a playground for a moment, then visibly gets an idea. Meanwhile, Princess, Pepper, and their mom head to the park.) Mom: Stay nearby, Princess. I just need to sell a few more pies, then it’s back home. (Princess hops over to a seesaw on the playground, where Vanna sits on one end with her face concealed by sunglasses and a hat.) Princess: Okay… (The disguised Vanna makes eye contact with Princess. Princess approaches her with a friendly air, unaware of who she’s talking to.) Princess: Hi, wanna seesaw? Vanna: ...You wanna play with me? Princess: Sure. why not? We’re about the same size...perfect for seesaw-in’! (Princess hops on the seesaw, causing Vanna to go up.) Vanna: WHOA!! So, you don’t have any kids to play with either? Princess: (scoffs) Are you kidding? I’ve got wayyy too many kids to play with… Vanna: (intrigued) Too many? (Meanwhile Mrs. Banana frantically looks for her daughter outside their hotel.) Mrs. Banana: Vanna?! VANNA?!...Steve! Rusty! (Steve and Rusty, two bodyguards Lunt and Jerry Gourd respectively, rush out to her side.) Steve: What can we do for you, Mrs. Banana? Mrs. Banana: Vanna is missing and it’s time to shoot her music video! Steve: We are soooo on it! Rusty: Yeah...on it. (The three hop away in the opposite direction of the playground. Back to Princess and Vanna on the seesaw.) Princess: And then my brother danced on the phone cord and accidentally hung up! Vanna: (laughs) No way! Princess: It wasn’t funny at the time…There he is over there. (Pepper laughs as he slides down the slide, but slips and lands on his face.) Vanna: (laughs) It sounds like you have such a fun life. Princess: (with disdain) Are you kidding?? Living on a farm, kids everywhere… Vanna: (pleasantly surprised) Everywhere?? Princess: Always out in the sun, smelling like horses… Vanna: (dreamy) Horses… Princess: I’m telling you, it’s not so great when you’re never alone… Vanna: (smiles as she imagines it) Ahhh, never alone....(slowly loses her dreaminess as she remembers reality) Wow, that sounds like the exact opposite of my life. Princess: Opposite? Vanna: I’m lonely a lot because there are never any kids around. Princess: (laughs) You should come to my house sometime! Vanna: I’d love to! Princess: Really? Vanna: But...I never get to stop working long enough to do anything fun. Princess: (getting confused) Work? But, you’re a kid! (Vanna looks around carefully, then smiles at Princess over her shades.) Princess: (intrigued) Who exactly are you? Vanna: (peering over her sunglasses, looks directly at Princess) What would you say...if I could get you a backstage pass to that concert? (Vanna takes off her shades to finally reveal herself. Suddenly recognizing the girl before her as Vanna Banana in the flesh, Princesscreams loudly. Mrs. Banana hears her outburst.) Mrs. Banana: Over there! That’s the unmistakable sound of a Vanna Banana fan! (Vanna looks around fearfully and drags Princess under the slide.) Princess: (completely starstruck, barely able to speak) You’re...V-...V-V-V-V-Vanna- Vanna: Shhh!!! Princess: B...B-B-B-B-...B-B-B-B-B-B- Vanna: (whispering) Shhhh, I don’t want anybody else to know! So, do you wanna come hang out with me backstage? Princess: (whispering) Of course!!! But, I don’t have anything to wear! (looks at her farming outfit) I can’t go dressed like this! Vanna: Oh, don’t worry about that, I have tons of extra clothes! (She takes off her jacket and gives it to Princess Princess: Yay!!!! (puts it on) I’m wearing Vanna Banana’s jacket. (long sniff) It smells famous… (She and Vanna see their reflections in the metallic underside of the slide.) Princess: (delighted gasp!)...We look exactly the same. Vanna: “Exactly” is a strong word, but I wonder… (In an instant Vanna and Princess switch hair and outfits, completely disguised as each other apart from their eyes and voices.) Princess and Vanna: Wow… Vanna: It’s like looking into a mirror! Princess: We are looking into a mirror. Steve (OS): Hey, have you seen Vanna Banana around here? Vanna: (gasp!) They’re here to take me back! I-I don’t wanna go back! Princess: Wha-?? But you’ve got the best life in the world! I’d do anything to be you! Vanna: Oh, yeah?! Well I’d do anything to be...(realizes something, gasp!) Wait a second...I wish I were you… Princess: And I wish I were you! And we look exactly the same!! Princess and Vanna: Why don’t we give it a try?! Steve: (interrogating Pepper) Yeah, the Vanna Banana! Princess: (singsong, revealing herself) Here I am! Steve: Gotcha! (Princess winks back at Vanna as Steve and Rusty apprehend her.) Steve: The carrot has landed! I repeat, the birdie is back in the cage! Rusty: Yeah. Birdie. Princess: Whoa; what’s going on? Mrs. Banana: Quickly, get her to the stage! (She hops away with the group as Vanna hops out from under the slide, watching them leave.) Mom (OS): Princess! Pepper: That was weird. C’mon Princess, gotta go. (He hops to Mom, but Vanna stays, still watching Princess being taken away instead of her. What has she gotten herself into? Pepper: Well, c’mon! (Coming back to her new reality, Vanna smiles and follows Mom and Pepper. Fade to black, then cue “Astonishing Wigs.") (Fade in to a concert hall with a neon sign advertising Vanna’s performance. Mrs. Banana ushers “Vanna” to a platform under the stage.) Mrs. Banana: You cannot just disappear like that, sweetheart! I was worried sick!! It’s time to stop daydreaming and start acting like the superstar. (hands “Vanna” her guitar) Now play! Princess: Play? (The small platform Princess stands on rises up so she’s onstage as the music for “Radio Sweetheart” begins. A pea on a small moving aerial platform holds a camera as Princess stands entranced by it all.) Guitarist: Aaaand now! (Princess doesn’t sing; she turns and smiles at the guitarist) Guitarist: Huh?? Drummer: And a one...huh??? (Princess looks around smiling as Mrs. Banana looks on in confusion.) Guitarist: Dude...sing! Princess: (out of her daze, gulps) Um… (sings a bit out of rhythm) Move my feet to the beat down in my soul…(surprised laugh!) Singin’ for the people that’s how I roll...Who would guess that a regular girl...ummm...Could get to sing for the whole wide world? Mrs. Banana: What happened to her voice? Princess: (overjoyed) This is a dream come true, I can’t even believe I’m up here!!!!! (getting into the song) I love the microphone and the camera lens...''Yes, I do...''Y’know, the audience is my best friend...And when the fans call out my name...''Hello, can you hear it? ''I take the stage and entertain! Cuz I’m here...When they sing along, it’s such a rush so with all this applause, I must be a radio sweetheart! A radio sweetheart. Mrs. Banana: (suspicious) Hmm.... (Fade to black, then cut back to the Poppyseed family farm. “Princess” sleeps in her bunk.) Vanna: (mumbling in her sleep) I-I don’t wanna meet the president, Mommy...I wanna ride the horsie… Mom (OS): (calling from a distant room) Princess, wake up! Vanna: (suddenly waking up) W-wha-? “Princess”? Pepper: (hanging upside down from his bunk in front of “Princess”) Good morning! (Vanna screams and he falls on her bed. She sniffs the air and sighs happily.) Vanna: What is that wonderful smell? Pepper: Whaddaya think? Family breakfast. (Pepper climbs down from his bunk as Vanna smiles dreamily.) Vanna: Family breakfast… (The family chatters as Vanna comes down the stairs) Vanna: Good morning! Mom: Be careful, I’m coming through! Parsley: Can I have some fruit? Papaya: Okay, wash your hands… Vanna: Somethin’ smells delicious… Papaya, Paprika, and Parsley: Mornin’, Princess! Vanna: (happy gasp) Oh!! Dad: (entering holding a button) I got it. I got it! Oh, morning, Princess. (“Princess” smiles jovially.) Mom: What have you got? Dad: A homing device for the Robo-Pogo™! Watch! (Dad pushes the button, and a loud crash is heard. The Robo-Pogo™ runs through him and flips him onto the ground.) Dad: Oops. Guess I need to teach it to use the door. (stands) Better go get my wall-fixin’ tools. Mom: (hopping OS) Hurry up, children. We all have our chores to do… Vanna: Chores? (Mom sets a plate in front of her, and she gasps) Vanna: What’s this? Dad: Whaddaya think it is? Breakfast pie. Pepper: Your favorite? Vanna: (eyes wide with bliss) It’s perfect…(picks it up to eat it) Dad: Hold on. We haven’t said grace. Vanna: ...Oh. (puts down the pie) Sorry. (The family bows their heads) Dad: Thank you, God, for this food. Dad, Mom, and Pepper: Amen. Papaya, Paprika, and Parsley: Amen. Vanna: (touched) Amen...Ohh, it’s so sweet! It’s just like “Little Peas on the Prairie!” (Everyone else at the table eyes her oddly.) Dad, Pepper, Papaya, Paprika, and Parsley: ...Ohhh-kay… Pepper: I need more bread. Papaya: Has anybody seen my- (Back to overlapping family chatter. Vanna smiles and eats her pie) Vanna: Mmm… (Cut back to Vanna’s room in the morning with the curtains drawn. “Vanna” yawns in her sleep. The entourage suddenly bursts in as the lights turn on. Entourage: Good morning! Princess: (suddenly sitting up, half-asleep) Wha-? What’s happening?? Entourage #2: (holding a tea tray) Breakfast! Princess: Who are you?? Entourage #2: (shoves toast in Princess’s mouth) Shh, save your voice! Entourage #1: Three new outfits to try on this morning, and we’ve infused your eggs with all the nutrients you’ll need for an energetic day! Entourage #2: I scraped the bumps off your toast! Entourage #1: Dress number two! (A clothes rack rushes in front of Princess, and rushes away to reveal her in a new popstar outfit.) Entourage: Perfect!! (Princess sees herself in the mirror and marvels. She looks just like Vanna Banana!) Entourage: (brushing “Vanna’s” hair and teeth) Brush brush brush brush brush, hair-brush! Brush brush brush brush brush floss RINSE! (Princess sips water and rinses her mouth. The entourage makes her bed) Entourage #1: You leave for rehearsal in two minutes! Entourage #2: The band is waiting on you! Entourage #1: Looks like you’re done here! Entourage: Good morning!! (The entourage leaves.) Princess: (stunned)...What a way to wake up! (Cut to the same stage from before. The pianist plays an A-flat-major scale.) Princess: (off-key A-flat arpeggio) La-la-la-la-la-la-la… Mrs. Banana: Ughh. Sounds like you are getting sick. (A-major scale) Princess: (starts out on A but escalates to a screechy high Bflat) La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-LAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! (Princess’s ear-piercing note shatters the pianist’s glasses.) Pianist: Ohh...third pair today… Mrs. Banana: Vanna, what’s the matter? Princess: Nothing’s the matter, just...a little nervous. Let’s do it again. Mrs. Banana: Ah, okay. After the piano man fixes his glasses. Pianist: (exiting) And buys some earplugs! Princess: I don’t need the piano, I’ll just sing it Alcapulco! Mrs. Banana: ...It’s “a capella.” Vanna, you are not yourself this morning. Princess: What?? Who else would I be? I-I mean, it would be impossible for me to trade places with some other girl! (nervous awkward laugh) Mrs. Banana: ...Okay…(takes her aside) Vanna, if the performance is as bad as your rehearsal, this tour will be over! We’ve both worked too hard to lose everything now. Princess: I don’t wanna lose everything! Mrs. Banana: Vanna, you must decide right here and now to put aside this foolishness and do whatever it takes to be the superstar you were born to be Princess: Whatever it takes? Mrs. Banana: Are you ready to do that? (“Vanna” takes a moment to think as the music for “That’s Not Everything” starts.) Princess: I’m ready. (Princess performs onstage. As she sings we see Vanna in the barn getting eggs from the chickens.) Princess: Got my fancy outfit on...While I sing my favorite song, yeah I’m livin’ the high life, but that’s not everything… (Vanna sneezes, flinging the eggs into Dad’s face. She smiles sheepishly.) Princess: My dinner’s one huge chocolate bar...Diamonds and jet planes, I’m a star! Yeah I’m livin’ the sweet life, but that’s not every-THING! (Her sudden octave jump breaks the pianist’s glasses again) Pianist: Agh...I gotta get Lasik… Princess: From Tulsa to Toledo, I’m a pop star hero. I can get whatever I ask for but it never...brings me what I really want. It’s not everything! (Cut back to Dad wiping the egg off his face as Vanna holds a bucket by one of the cows.) Vanna: How hard could this be? (Vanna starts milking the cow, who moos and kicks Dad offscreen.) Pepper: Again! Princess: It’s not everything…! (Mrs. Banana smiles proudly. As Princess sings we see Vanna bring in the very small amounts of milk and eggs she harvested. Dad looks at her discontentedly.) Princess: Look at my fancy mansion home...yet I live here all alone! Yeah, I’ve got everything that my money can buy, but that’s not every-thing! That’s not every...thing! (Nighttime at the Poppyseed farm, Vanna hugs Pepper.) Pepper: G’night, Princess. Vanna: Goodnight, Pepper. (Pepper hops down from “Princess’s” bunk as Mom enters.) Mom: Pepper, what are you doing up? Pepper: Best day ever! (Pepper exits as Mom climbs up to “Princess.”) Mom: I’ve enjoyed seeing you be so kind to Pepper today. It’s almost like you even like him. Vanna: He’s a great little brother. Mom: So you don’t want a life like Vanna Banana’s anymore? Vanna: ...I guess not. Mom: I’m glad. (whispers closer) Y’know, the Bible says you are so special to God, that if you tried to count every time He ever thought about you, it would be like trying to count every single grain of sand in the whole wide world! Vanna: (thoughtful) Wow...that’s a lot… Mom: It is a lot...God thinks about you all the time, Princess. And do you know what He thinks? Vanna: What? Mom: (genuine) He thinks you’re really, really great. And so do I. (pause, Vanna takes it in) Mom: Let’s say our prayers. (closes her eyes) God, we are grateful for the life that you have given us. Even when it’s tough, we know that You made us special, and you put us right where you wanted us. Vanna: ...Even when it’s tough? Mom: Princess, God uses the good times and the tough times to make us who He wants us to be. Every life has both. Vanna: (reflecting) Every life has both… Mom: Goodnight, my sweet girl. (hugs “Princess,” hops down) You grow up so fast...but you’ll always be my little Princess. (Mom exits as Vanna sighs quietly, gazing out into the moonlight. Back to Vanna’s room at night, where Mrs. Banana enters. She hops up to Vanna’s bed.) Mrs. Banana: Goodnight, sweetie. (realizes she isn’t in her bed) Oh, no! She has run away again! Princess: I’m over here. (Princess lies in the top drawer of Vanna’s huge dresser.) Mrs. Banana: Oh...you’re...sleeping in a dresser drawer? Princess: The bed’s too big. This just feels more like home. Mrs. Banana: Huh??...Vanna, I appreciate you working so hard today, but I cannot help feeling something about you has changed, (Princess hops down from the top drawer, setting free a piece of paper that floats down to Mrs. Banana.) Princess: Noooo, no, it hasn’t. I promise, I’ll be back to myself in no time! Mrs. Banana: (picking up the music and reading it) I’ve never heard this song. When did you write it? Princess: I...I don’t remember. Mrs. Banana: (pause)...You’ve never hidden one of your songs from me before. (hands the sheet to Princess) Would you mind singing it for me? (Princess takes a moment to read the music, then sings.) Princess: I could stand...And face this crowd alone--but to me, they only sound like thunder. Look at me...There are millions here who cheer but I don’t really know, one single other...The world knows my name, so why do I feel unknown? With all of these crowds--I should not be alone… Mrs. Banana: (clearly surprised by Vanna’s song)...I did not know. Princess: Didn’t know what? Mrs. Banana: I thought being a superstar made you feel special. I did not know it made you feel alone. It is good that I know this, Vanna. (hopping to the stairs) It gives me much to think about. Goodnight, sweetheart. (exits) Princess: Goodnight... (Fade to black. Fade in to Vanna playing with Pepper outside the barn.) Pepper: The alien is attacking! Oh no oh no! Vanna: Not just any alien, I’m a kissing alien! (repeatedly kissing Pepper’s helmet) Mwah, mwah, mwah!! Pepper: Ahhh!! No nonononono stop kissing meeeee! (Vanna laughs and stops kissing) Mom: Princess! Vanna: Coming! (hops offscreen, Pepper follows. Cut inside to the table, where “Princess’s” meager harvest from yesterday sits.) Dad: I just don’t get it… Mom: Well, there has to be some explanation… Vanna: What’s going on? Mom: We’re in trouble. Dad: BIG trouble! Mom: This is the second morning in a row that the chickens and cows haven’t given us enough Pepper: (upside down on the couch) It’s probably the singing. Vanna: What singing? Pepper: You always sing to the animals, they love it! I dunno why you stopped… Mom: You stopped? Dad: That’s gotta be it! Mom: I’ve gotta admit, when you sing it does make the animals very happy. Dad: You make ‘em feel like givin’ more milk and eggs! It’s like a cow lullaby. Pepper: (gasp, sits up) You’re like a dairy queen! Vanna: (laughs nervously) What should I sing? Pepper: What you always sing! Mom, Dad, and Pepper: Vanna Banana! (Vanna laughs nervously and gulps. Wipe to Vanna with her guitar in the barn as the family stands aside.) Vanna: Um...any requests? Parsley: Ooooh! “That’s Not Everything!” Pepper: “Radio Stuffmart!” Paprika: It’s “Radio Sweetheart.” Pepper: Like that makes any sense… Vanna: Okay, (nervous laugh...strums her guitar) Move my feet to the beat down in my soul… (The cows moo) Vanna: Singin’ for the people, that’s how I roll...Who would guess that a regular girl… (Chickens cluck irritated) Vanna: Could get to sing for the whole wide world? (One cow moos particularly loudly. The singing isn’t working.) Vanna: My song comes on, they play it loud. “Vanna, Vanna” shouts the crowd, I’m a radio sweetheart… Dad: (opens the pen of that cow) What are they doing?? (yelps as the cow kicks him again. The family gasps.) I don’t think that worked!! (collapses) Paprika: I don’t understand! Parsley: The animals are treating you like they don’t even know you! (Vanna tears up, realizing the jig is up.) Mom: ...Princess? Vanna: That’s because...they don’t know me… Dad: What? Don’t be silly, Princess. Vanna: I’m not. Dad: You’re not silly? Vanna: I’m not Princess. Paprika, Parsley, and Pepper: WHAT?! Papaya: (absentminded) Whaaat…? Vanna: It’s true. I’m sorry I lied, but I just wanted to trade places with Princess. Dad: Trade places?? Pepper: With Princess???? Vanna: We met at the playground...and played on the seesaw… Pepper: (gasp!!) I saw that seesaw! Vanna: And realized that her life is exactly what I wish I had, and my life is exactly what she wishes she had… Dad: That’s impossible! The only person Princess wants to be is...Vanna Banana! (realizes, gasp!!) (Vanna smiles nervously.) Paprika, Parsley, Papaya, and Dad: (ad-lib excited/starstruck reactions) Pepper: (gasp) Vanna Banana kissed me… Mom: Shhh! Vanna, where is Princess? Vanna: She...she’s at the arena, getting ready for tonight’s show. Dad: Everybody! In the truck!! (Everyone hops to the old-fashioned family pickup. All the kids hop in the back.) Vanna: Let’s go bring Princess home! (Dad tries to start the car but only a big cloud of black exhaust occurs.) Vanna: Hurry!!! Dad: Hold on! (He tries a few more times, and finally the car starts. Everyone cheers.) Dad: She’s a diesel! Gotta give ‘er time to warm up! (The truck drives offscreen very slowly. Another puff of exhaust jolts the back end. Jumpcut to the arena at night as the Poppyseed truck approaches. Cut inside to Princess performing “That’s Not Everything.”) Princess: From Tulsa to Toledo, I’m a popstar hero. I can get whatever I ask for but it never...brings me what I really want, it’s not every-thiiiiiiiiiing!! (Princess spins around on her last note and runs into the guitarist.) Guitarist: Dude. Princess: (flustered) Look at my fancy mansion home...Where I blah blah blah blah blah! Yeah, I’m playin’ with monkeys...but that’s not every…THING. (As the crowd cheers, she smiles and awkwardly hops toward the pianist.) Pianist: That’s not the last line of the song… Princess: I couldn’t remember, it...It was the first thing I thought of. Pianist: “Playing with monkeys” was the first thing you thought of…??? (Rockin’ Robin appears live.) Rockin’ Robin: Uh, leave it up to Vanna Banana to mix it up for the live crowd! Haha, yowza! Who wants freeeeeeee T-SHIRTSSSS?!!!!! (shoots one from a t-shirt gun) Mrs. Banana: (whispers from the wing) Vanna, come here. (Princess hops over to her.) Princess: I-I’m sorry. I’m just...distracted. Mrs. Banana: I know, Vanna. Your heart is clearly not in this anymore. Princess: Noooo...I’m just...I- Mrs. Banana: The song you sang for me last night...it made things so much clearer. Perhaps we take some time off-- give you, as you said--a normal life for a while. Princess: No!! I want to be famous! Mrs. Banana: But, your song. Princess: That wasn’t my song! Mrs. Banana: What?? Princess: I-I mean, it’s not what I want anymore! Mrs. Banana: It is not? Princess: No! This! I really, really want this! Give me one more chance to show you. Mrs. Banana: (loving)...Okay, Vanna. If that is what you really want. (Cut to Steve and Rusty outside the arena) Rusty: She-she really said that onstage? Steve: (laughing) Yeah! “Playing with monkeys!” Rusty: Heh, that’s hilarious. (The two laugh until the Poppyseed truck rolls onscreen) Dad: Hold on! Wait til it comes to a complete stop! (The truck stops offscreen) Vanna: (entering) Steve! Rusty! It’s me, Vanna! You’ve got to let us in!! Rusty: Hardy har har. Steve: Vanna Banana’s inside, little girl. Besides, if you were the real Vanna Banana, you would know our names! Vanna: I just called you Steve and Rusty. Steve: Right, but I’m Rusty, and he’s Steve! Vanna: Please, guys! I have to- Rusty: Wait...I thought I was Rusty. Steve: You’re not getting in without a ticket. Mom: That’s okay. I have a ticket. Vanna: You do? Mom: (revealing a pie) A hot, scrumptious, chocolate ticket. (The two bouncers look at each other. Back to Princess in the wing.) Princess: (to herself) I’m not Princess, I’m Vanna Banana. Not Princess, I’m Vanna Banana. I’m not Princess, I’m-- Vanna: Princess? Princess: Vanna Banana? Vanna: Oh, thank goodness I found you! You’ve got to come home. I tried to be you but it was a disaster! Princess: WHAT??? Vanna: I’ll explain on the way. C’mon! (Vanna bumps into Mrs. Banana.) Mrs. Banana: Excuse me, who let you backstage? Vanna: Mom!! (hugs her) I’ve missed you so much! Mrs. Banana: What’s going on, Vanna? Who is this farm girl? Vanna: I’m your daughter! We traded places a few days ago on the playground. Mrs. Banana: ...Vanna? Vanna: Yes, Mom? Mrs. Banana: Not you, the other Vanna! Is this true? Princess: I...don’t know what she’s talking about! Vanna: What?!! Princess, you can’t be me! And I can’t be you! Mrs. Banana: (as they enter) Steve! Rusty! Did you let this girl backstage?! Steve: Um...she had a ticket… Rusty: A delicious ticket! Vanna: Don’t you see how special you are?! Princess, you grow pies!! No one does that! Princess: (sob) This...this is the life I’ve always wanted… (The crowd chants Vanna’s name.) Rockin’ Robin: (entering the wing) Um, we’re runnin’ outta T-shirts over here... Rusty: (as he and Steve apprehend Vanna) Let’s go, little missy! Vanna’s gotta get back on stage! Vanna: (as she’s carried away) Princess! You’ve got to tell them the truth!! Princess: My name is not Princess! It’s Vanna Banana!! (Steve and Rusty shove the Poppyseed family out the door.) Dad: No more pies for you! Steve: Aww, man… (Rusty slams the door.) Mom: I don’t understand...My little girl… Vanna: (frustrated grunt) This is all my fault. We should’ve never traded places! (Mom realizes there’s someone missing.) Mom: Wait. Where’s Pepper?! (Back inside “Vanna” prepares herself to go out.) Rockin’ Robin: Once again, the one and only Vanna Banana! (She hops onstage smiling.) Pepper: (peeking out from behind the curtain) Princess…? (Princess hops to center stage as the music for “Radio Sweetheart” starts, but the smile disappears as the gravity of her situation sinks in.) Pepper: (sadly) Why don’t you wanna be my sister? (The moving platform the camera pea films on lands behind Pepper, who hops backwards.) Pepper: What did I do wrong?? (yelps as he stumbles backwards and trips a red lever, taking him upwards) WAAAAHH!!!! (Princess isn’t singing or smiling.) Guitarist: Dude! (The platform swings about until the controlling lever falls out and hangs off the side. Pepper gasps. Meanwhile, Princess still can’t sing.) Guitarist: (hopping up to her) Vanna! Sing!!! Princess: Just...gimme a second… Guitarist, Drummer, and Pianist: Duuuude… (Pepper leans out of the bars to grab the lever.) Princess: (finally bringing herself to sing, sounds near tears) Move my feet to the beat down in my soul… (Pepper reaches…) Princess: Singin’ for the people, that’s how I roll… Pepper: (falls off the platform onto a stagelight rack) WAAAAAAHHH!!!! Oof!! Princess: Who’d have guessed that a regular girl… Pepper (OS): PRINCESS! HEEELLLPP!!! Princess: Huh? (Pan up to Pepper stuck on the light, clinging to its pole for dear life.) Pepper: I’m scared!!! Princess: PEPPER!!!! (The Poppyseeds attempt to get back in) Mom: You’ve got to let us back inside! Dad: Don’t make me call my Robo-Pogo™!! Pepper (OS): MOMMYYYY!!!! Steve: Who’s that?! Mom: (shoving through) That’s my child! Dad: C’mon!! (The Poppyseeds and Vanna enter the arena again) Princess: Mom! Mom: (hopping onstage) Princess, what happened?! Princess: It’s Pepper! He’s stuck up there!!! Mrs. Banana: What is going on here, Rusty?! Steve: I’m Steve. And there’s a BOY up there! Pepper: HEEEELLPP!!!! Mrs. Banana: We’ve got to rescue that boy! Princess: What do we do?! Vanna: (helpless) I--I don’t know!! Dad: I GOT IT! Veggie Pyramid! (With awkward ad-lib, Dad, Steve, Rusty, the camera pea, and two potato guards make an unstable pyramid. Rusty grabs a nearby rope and swings off.) Dad: (as the whole thing collapses) AAAaaahh!!! Oof! (Rusty swings right into him and they fly offscreen) WHOA!!! (offscreen crash) Rusty (OS): My bad! Pepper: I’m so sorry, Princess! Princess: You didn’t do anything wrong! Pepper: But none of this would’ve happened if I hadn’t made you lose that contest!! (heartbroken sob) Now you don’t wanna be my sister anymore... Mrs. Banana: Sister? Is what this other girl said actually true? Who are you? Princess: ...I’m not Vanna Banana. (Everyone but Vanna and Mom gasps.) Princess: My name is Princess Poppyseed. I traded places with Vanna Banana because I didn’t think being Princess was good enough. I wanted what Vanna has! I wanted to be special. But God made Vanna to be Vanna, and He made me to be me! Dad: (to Rusty) I taught her that. Princess: And now my brother’s in danger because of what I did. I’m so sorry. Steve: It’s no use. There’s no other way up there. Vanna: There has to be another way! Steve: Not unless somebody can jump really high! Princess and Vanna: (remembering the same thing) Jump really high?! Princess: Dad! (gasp!) The Robo-Pogo™!! Mrs. Banana: Uhh, what is a Robo-Pogo™? (Dad pushes the button, and something hops closer and closer to the door outside. The Robo-Pogo™ bursts through the wall.) Dad: I’m a-comin’, Pepper! Princess: (mounting it herself) No, Dad...Let me. Dad: But, Princess… Princess: (hopping with it onstage) It’s my fault he’s up there. I need to go get him. Plus...you’re not very good at pogo-ing. Dad: ...True. (Princess makes the Robo-Pogo™ take her all the way up to Pepper.) Princess: WHOAAAA!! (dismounts) Pepper!! Pepper: (apprehensive) Princess…? Princess: Ohh, Pepper, it’s not your fault, it’s mine. Pepper: (clinging to the pole instead of her) You said you weren’t Princess...you didn’t wanna be my sister anymore… Princess: (genuine smile) Well, that’s impossible, isn’t it? Pepper: (little smile, looks down) It’s scary up here… Princess: (remounting the Robo-Pogo™) Then, hold on to me, and I’ll getcha down safe and sound. Pepper: (gets on, clings to her) Don’t let go. Princess: (holds him tight) I won’t, little brother. (The two use the Robo-Pogo™ to get back down onstage together. The crowd cheers as they smile at each other.) Guitarist and Drummer: Dude!! Mom: Pepper! Pepper: MOM!! (Dad, Paprika, Parsley, and Papaya all hug Pepper.) Princess: I don’t wanna be Vanna anymore. I’d really like to be a Poppyseed again. Mom: Oh, sweet girl! (The crowd “awwwws” as Mom hugs Princess.) Princess: I’m so sorry, Mom… Mom: I love you, Princess Poppyseed. Princess: ...Family hug? (All the Poppyseeds join in a big hug. Vanna looks on with a smile.) Mrs. Banana: Oh, Vanna...I’m so sorry… Vanna: No...I had forgotten what an amazing life God had already given me. Mrs. Banana: Sweetheart, we both forgot! You are special just for being the wonderful Vanna, the daughter who I love. (Mrs. Banana hugs her Vanna.) Mom: Vanna...Mrs. Banana… Princess: Family hug!!! (The crowd cheers as Vanna and Mrs. Banana join the embrace. Fade to the Poppyseed farm in daylight, where the Poppyseed children and Vanna play outside. Dad hammers in one side of a banner.) Dad: I think it’s even. Hammer in your side. (The Robo-Pogo™ jumps up and hammers in the other nail. Princess and Vanna laugh and enter the barn, where Vanna’s band is set up and playing.) Princess: I’ve got my mother and my father, sisters, and my brother. Vanna: My friends and neighbors, we’re so happy cuz we love each other, Princess and Vanna: It’s a lotta love, and it’s right where I belong! Doo-doo-doo-do-do-do-do-do-do-dooo! (The cow kicks over the drum set.) Drummer: Duuuude! (Princess and Vanna hop out to where Mom is setting up pies.) Princess: My life has challenges, it’s just as hard as any other. Vanna: But our God cares for us, we’ll get through it and it’s no bother! Princess and Vanna: It’s a lotta love, and it’s right where I belong! Paprika, Parsley, and Papaya: Doo-doo-doo-do-do-do-do-doo! Princess and Vanna: A lotta love! It’s right where I belong… (Mom sets out a birthday pie for Vanna as the family gathers around.) Princess: There’s so much joy in life, it’s something I had to discover! Vanna: Cuz God the Father made a life for me that’s like no other, Princess and Vanna: It’s a lotta love, and it’s right where I...belong! Vanna: A lotta love! Princess and Vanna: It’s right where I belong! (The two girls hug as we iris out. Back to Bob and Larry on the countertop.) Larry: So there ya go, Madison! The tile isn’t really greener on the other side of the fence. Bob: That’s right. Larry: Especially when ya take down the fence and repaint the tile. Bob: ...Is that another “anomaly?” Larry: I’m pretty sure it is. Thanks for helpin’ me clean up the kitchen, Bob; I really didn’t think about the implications. Bob: You mean that painting the tile with specially-formulated, fast-drying tile paint would be hard to wipe up? Those implications? Larry: ...yeah, those ones. Bob: That’s okay, Larry. The point you were trying to make is an important one. It’s not good to compare yourself to others, and to want what they have. The grass, or tile, isn’t any greener on the other side of the fence. Larry: Let’s see if Qwerty has a verse for us today! And so what we have learned applies to our lives today, and God has a lot to say in His book! Larry: (pointing out a green hop-print still on the counter) You missed a spot. Y’see, we know that God’s word is for everyone, and now that our song is done, we’ll take a look! (Qwerty pops up a verse) Larry: Jeremiah 1:5a. “Before I formed you in your mother’s body I chose you. Before you were born I set you apart to serve me.” Bob: In our story, we learned that God made Princess to be Princess. Larry: And He made Vanna to be Vanna! Bob: God made each of us special. He knew us, and had a plan for our lives before we were even born. Larry: Sometimes it’s hard to see God’s plan for our lives, but we need to trust Him, that His plan is the best plan! Bob: That’s right, Larry. So Madison, you can be happy for Taylor about all the great things she has, and at the same time be thankful for the person God has made you, and the plan He has for you. Larry: And I bet you’ll see the grass is the greenest right there on your side of the fence! Bob: Ooo, nice! Madison: Thanks Bob! Thanks Larry! Larry: I’m gettin’ the hang of this anomaly thing. Bob: Yyyyup! Well, that’s about all the time we have for today, kids. Always remember, God made you special… Larry: And He loves you very much! Bob, Larry, and Madison: Bye!! (Fade to black, roll credits.) Category:Transcripts Category:VeggieTales transcripts Category:Unfinished transcripts